Off The Reservation

In which Uncle Nash gets invited to a weekend boat outing, gets his eyes opened, and makes a friend.

One spring at the Civic Center in PC, my duties as GM had me working 43 days straight without a break. I had some comp time coming, and was ready for a long weekend of R & R. My pal who owned the Greek and Seafood restaurants, called me on a Wednesday afternoon, and invited me over for dinner at his seafood place. They had caught a huge grouper, and he wanted to grill some for us. OK, on my way!

We settle in to eat, and he asks me if I have plans for the weekend. Yeah, sleep in I told him, as a long string of 12-15 hour days had just about worn me down to a nub. Well, he says, I’m meeting a friend for a weekend boat trip, and he said I could bring some friends – wanna come? I asked him for more details, and he told me his friend, he and I would be the male contingent and there would be “girls”. Since I hadn’t had any time for panky in forever, I said, what the heck, let’s do it, not really knowing what to expect.

Friday afternoon, he picks me up in his black Ferrari Testarossa, and we head east. We reach a boat landing on a huge lake, and meet his friend with a 40+ foot yacht. Lookin’
pretty good to me about now. We load up and putter away from the dock. I get introduced to his pal, along with two ladies who are obviously meant for each of them. Bully for some thinks I, and where’s Uncle Nash’s, hmmmmmm? We get beers, and I raise my eyebrows to my friend, as if to say, where’s Uncle Nash’s, hmmmmmm? He grins and says, we’re stopping by another place and meeting some girls for dinner. Now, THAT’S more like it, boyo! We dock at a huge marina, and head in to the restaurant. There’s a table with our girls who wave us over. They’re all pretty good looking, with one real stunner. Turns out they’re all from Flagler College, and know the boat owner through his daughter who is not around for some reason. Uncle Nash is now in his mid 30’s, so they seem just a bit young to me, but being from rich families, they exhibit a confidence and sophistication beyond their years. It’s a fun time. Me – kinda quiet, until they start asking me what I do. When they find out I’m in the entertainment business, They show some genuine interest and ask a lot of questions.

After dinner it’s now dark, so we rent a slip, secure the boat, hook up electricity, and settle in for some drinks. I’m beginning to wonder about sleeping arrangements, and try to decide which one of these little rabbits should benefit from some tricks I’d picked up over the years. There were 4 bedrooms, and several pull out couches in the common area.
I’m awarded one of the bedrooms, complete with a tiny bath/shower stall. I make some gentle hints as to a possible partnership – no takers. So, heigh ho, I head for bed, and turn in.

Next day we head toward the far side of the lake, and approach a huge island that has about 30-40 other boats anchored around it, many roped together to create a small city as it were. Our host seems to know a lot of these people, and all our unattached girls all turn out to be meeting boyfriends. Ratz! Just when I thought I was in, they pulled me back out! To juxtapose Michal Corleone in God Father III.

We have a lunch of sandwiches ‘n stuff, and someone on another boat cranks up a decent sound system, playing rock tunes. Fine stuff. We set up deck chairs, while the girls flit off to meet their guys. 5th wheel Nash, finds a bottla single-malt Glenlivet, and settles in to check out the sights. At first I thought my eyes were deceiving me, as on another boat close by, a short-haired blond has removed her top, to the delighted whoops of all the males within site, nice and full, and round………………… It doesn’t take long before she’s joined by a dozen or so others, who seem to delight in displaying what baby Jesus favored them with. Well, thinks I, if I can’t play, at least I can spectate. Wanted to ask if our host had any binoculars, but thought that may be impolite. So I’m feasting my eyes, working up the nerve to go to the party when I notice my pal and host and their ladies have disappeared. A few minutes later, the boat begins to rhythmically rock, and it’s evident somebody’s ‘rasslin’ down below. I decide to go for a swim, put on my baggies, and jump in. Some of the drunks see this and thinks it’s a great idea, and I’m joined in the water by a buncha boys and girls, all splashing and hollering and laughing. This is fun, and I get invited to an impromptu party. More drinks, more bare bodkins, more dancin’, more fun. My pal calls over for me to return for dinner, and they’re grillin’ beast parts, and want to know how I like my steak. I head back and go to my room to take a shower. Now my room has a lock on the door that goes from the bedroom out to the cabin, a lock on the door from the bedroom to the water closet, and a latch on the door from the water closet to the cabin. I thought I’d locked them all, but for some reason neglected to fully engage the lock from the shower to the cabin. As I finish and am drying off, Mr. Bobo is peeking his nose out of his shell, to see if anything is going on. I’m hanging my towel up on the rack, when the door opens, and there’s a pretty woman there that I don’t recognize. Her eyes immediately drop to take in the anteater, and she exclaims:
Her. ‘Who are you’?
Me. Scrambling to cover my package, ‘A guest of K’.
Her. Still perusing the equipment; ‘Sorry to barge in on you like this’.
Me. Now with the towel appropriately covering my male parts; ‘That’s OK’.

She leaves and closes the door, and when I come up on deck, she’s in a chair with a drink, and I get introduced to “E”. As everyone else is all paired up, we make a natural couple (as there are no other immediate alternatives) and make it through dinner. She’s from a town north of PC, completed her undergrad at Flagler, and Masters at FSU. We talk for a while and before I can make my move, she sez goodnight, and heads for her own space. Curses! Foiled Again! I head down to my room, strip off as it’s hot, and lay down on the bed, thinking naughty thoughts, as that’s all I have to sustain me at the moment. I’m just getting to the part where I noticed the blond with the punkins’ earlier that day, Mr. Bobo is stretching himself out to loosen his muscles, when I hear some giggling. There's a hatch overhead that looks right down onto my bed. It’s open, (fool that I am I hadn’t noticed it until now), and as I look up, there's a flash and more giggles and the sound of running feet moving away. Nothing for it but to throw on my shorts, head top-side to catch whoever it was that disturbed my privacy, and read them the riot act. Well, no one to be found, so I head back down and read myself to sleep.

Next day, after a brief lunch, one of our flagler four, comes up and tells me there are some people who want to meet me. Sure enough, there are several fillies that come over and ask if I want to go swimmin’. Sure do, let’s go. We walk over several boats to the end of the line, and jump in. It’s shallow enough to stand, but still deep enough to swim. Water is a bit chilly so Uncle Nash is treated to several views of 2nd grade erasers pushing up through cloth. We all have a race to shore, and when we arrive, one of the ladies shucks down and starts to chase the others. Well now, this is jes what the Dr. ordered. I sit down and kinda watch for a bit, and then I get mobbed, with them trying to pull down my trunks – all in fun you know. I don’t put up too much of a fight, and eventually they succeed. “Whoa”, sez one. “See” sez another, “I told ya”. I get up and try to get my trunks back, but it turns into a game of keep away, and takes a while for me to get put back to rights. All in good fun, and I hope – but don’t really expect anything to come of it. We all swim back, and I get invited to a fried fish dinner on one of the larger yachts. Thinking this is my best chance for some activity, I accept, forgetting about the lady of the previous night who left me high and dry (as she probably should have for proper decorum’s sake). So I’m thinkin’ there’ll be a hot time in the cabin tonight, when “E” comes on deck. See, this is her friend’s boat, although she came with another group. We all eat, have a drink or two, and I get up ready to leave – same as she did to me last night, and hope to run into one of the florry-dorry girls and invite her for a set-to. E asks where I’m goin’, and I tell her back to my room.
Her. ‘Want some company’.
Me, still not sure if I’ve heard right; “What”?
Her. “Can I come with you”?
Me. OK, now Mr. thickskull gets it. “Sure”.
As we’re making our way back, she asks if I’m married or attached to anyone. Truth be told I wasn’t at that time, and say so.
Her. ‘I just broke up with a guy’.
Me. Thinking GREAT, another night of conversations and unrequited lust. ‘Did you, now”!
Her.”Yes, he wouldn’t take care of me”.
Me, having no clear idea what she meant. “The Cad”.
We get to my boat, and I start to sit in a deck chair and offer her one too.
Her. “No, come and take care of me”.
Me, a bit stunned but eager to please. “OK, are you sure”?
Her. “Yes”.
We go to my cabin, I make sure all the damn doors are locked, and batten down that stinkin’ hatch too. The first time is slow and sweet, a get acquainted waltz as it were. We rest a bit, and then she asks politely if I can go again “Sure”, and this time I discover her feelings are close to the surface as is evidenced by multiple clenches and squeeks. I marvel at this, and tell her so. “De nada”, she sez, “wait ‘til I know you better”! We fell asleep, and upon awaking, rang the changes for breakfast.

Post Script.
We became a committed couple, I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. This one almost took for real, but circumstances, as they so often have in my life regarding relationships with women, served to ultimately dictate otherwise. And, somewhere out there, unless it's hopefully been destroyed, there's a polaroid of Bobo in his up-periscope position.