Off The Reservation

This is a bit long, so...........

As some of you may know, my family are SCUBA Divers. We bought a little grass shack on the island of Bonaire (one island over from Aruba in the Lesser Antilles), about 12 years ago, so we could dive from a home base so to speak.

Bonaire is a small island - 27 miles long and 4.5 miles wide at it's widest point. It's the first Marine Park in this Hemisphere, and below the Hurricane belt, and so stays relatively free from getting smashed by storms. It's considered one of the premier dive destinations on the planet, known for it's easy shore entry diving - meaning no boat rides if you don't wanna.

While it is a Dutch protectorate, it up until late 2010, was run by and totally administered by indigent Bonaireians. To say it was third world politics, completely rife with graft, "Baksheesh" (an Eastern Indian term, Fragrant Grease (Chinese), and Payola (Melican), would be to utter a truism. Who pays the most, gets their project done first kinda thing.

Well, their idea for waste management, was to dump it in the ocean on the windward side of the island, hoping it would drift away - maybe to Grenada - East or Curacao - West. This nutrient enrichment caused the plankton to grow prolifically, making underwater visibility, a prized enticement for divers, very much less so not to mention the overall damage to the coral reef ecosystems.

The Dutch took over much of the infrastructure management in late 2010, to the excitement and glee of all us homeowners and water-sports enthusiasts. Well, there is a rule that ALL work must be performed by majority Bonairian crews, with at least one Bonairian crew chief for each. The Dutch, to our delight, decided to build waste treatment plants on the island interior, and have large vacuum tube pipes laid from the population centers to the plant. OK.

So it's:

Heigh Ho,
Heigh Ho,
It's off to work we go,
We'll dig some holes.
for the hollow poles.
Heigh Hoooooooo
Heigh Ho!

Now everyone is beavering away like billy-o, with odd looking front loaders that have what looks like a ginormous chain-saw chain blade assembly with a driver and about 9 guys to watch him and comment, and lift a shovel full of dirt/rock once every 15 minutes of so.

A year and a half later, "O Frabjous Day - Callou Callay", we're about to join two digs that are coming together from opposite directions. TV Camera Crews from other islands, Reporters all the way from Holland and South 'Melica, and all the local VIP's are on hand for the great joining. We open the soil, and lo and behold....................................................................

The South to North crew has laid their pipe TWO feet deep, and the North to South crew has laid their pipe - the requisite depth of THREE feet. Oooooooooooooooooopppppppppppppps! How many fingers do you see. THREE is not TWO.

Epilogue. I was on the island last week, and heard about this from a Dutch guy who is a family friend and project manager for our condo complex. I asked if they could just make an elbow joint and join the three feet to the two, and he said no! There was no such thing, and even if there was, the vacuum type tubing would not allow for bends. I asked which one was going to course correct, the three or the two, and he looked at me glassy eyed, and promptly ran out the door, I assume to head to the main office and make sure BOTH crews were not going to change their settings, leaving us with the same problem two years from now. This will cost me and my fellow owners ANOTHER tax assessment for the additional labor and materials to make this right, not to mention another 1.5-2 years before the problem is solved.

Don't tell me the US Gubmint is the only wacky body of idiots and mental midgets in existence, I know better.