Off The Reservation

I've followed this epic soap opera and this is my first time posting...

T: Keep your head on straight...you know the old marathon not a sprint thing...dont need to make epic decisions right now.... If there is anything that you need to do it is find out what the root cause was/is and SLOWELY start to fix it.

I'm hesitant to write this, as going down the path I went down strongly influenced the remainder of my life. Hitting rock bottom emotionally is painful, but enlightening.

Nonetheless, here's what I know. Unless you're completely jealousy free and also completely willing to trust her, your relationship is over. Also, those aren't choices, you either are already those things, or it's not going to work. My first love dated another guy for about a week. She decided he didn't have anything on me, and we got back together. You'd think I'd be celebrating victory, but I was young, jealous, & suspicious. I wanted her back, but I wanted the pure relationship that we'd previously had, and I couldn't divorce those ideas. Getting her back was never going to bring back what we'd had - that was gone forever.

So, I wasted the next several months afraid that she was seeing other guys. I treated her well, but jealousy made me do stupid things at times - which caused me to be mad at myself. For me, it was a constant battle, trying to hold on to the girl, hoping we'd get back to what we had - and, being constantly depressed that what we had now, it wasn't that great. (it had great moments, but overall it was fundamentally flawed)

It took too long, months of on again off again, for me to start looking around. I never totally got rid of the ex until I found a new to girl date. But, once I moved on, life felt significantly better.

I expect this would go as follows: You say you are trusting and not jealous. Also, you say that she would never date another guy behind your back, so you don't need to worry about it. Others will comment that you're probably not able to judge yourself clearly, and you'll believe you have any attributes that will save this relationship. Others will also tell you that your girl is most definitely going to date other guys. I'll agree with all the comments made by others. You'll stop updating us for another month.

Of course, now that I've pointed out how it's going to go, it has to go another way. I suggest this way-

What you're doing clearly isn't working. It sounds like things have gotten worse. Why not do something unexpected? Find a bar and see if you can strike up a conversation with a girl you don't know. You don't have to kiss her, date her, or marry her - just find a girl that you think is interesting to talk to.

I just reread this thread from the beginning. I my ass off the entire time. I mean, the responses in here are fantastic - from honest and helpful to blatant trolling, it's all classic. Well done gents.