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Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or it may last a year. But eventually, it will subside. If i quit, however it will last forever.
Seriously....not sure if serious. Is this the same girl whose nude picture you shared with the entire internet after demanding 100 upvotes? (if I'm confusing tBB posters, forgive me).
Been there...right around the 3 year mark as a matter of fact
First question. Have there been any changes in the past year or so with the "infrastructure" of either of your lives? New job/layoff, death, addiction/recovery, relocation, etc etc? Sometimes even a minor issue can affect something like this.
One thing will help is getting everything out...if either of you are withholding pertinent information, ya gotta get it out. For example, I used to suffer from migranes...the medicine I had to take wrecked my sex drive, & was too embarassed to say anything to my girlfriend. I finally did, and she understood, & helped me find a better alternative.
Do you guys live together, etc?
You sound like a Stage 5 Clinger, man. Rein that crap in.
I think you should wait until she gets home tonight or sometime soon and just grab her and eff her brains out man (and do all the stuff that she told you she wanted). It seems like that is what she wants so just go for it. She's changing so you have to change accordingly (hell man, she even TOLD you what she wanted you to do).
This post was edited by equanole on 6/5/2012 at 9:06 AM
Solid advice there from equa.
I'll think on this and chime in later. One bit of advice, make this a VIP thread. Otherwise, those tBB folks will find out and you'll be doomed anyway.
Certainly I'm no expert, but have been through this once personally (had to eventually walk away from an alcohol abuser), and vicariously through friends a number of times. A couple of things I learned and/or found out along the way.
1. You MUST talk this through. Holding back only leads to misunderstanding of the other party's mind-set and a high level of anxiety - a sure killer in yours.
2. It is a good idea to talk things over at a NEUTRAL site, so no one party has an advantage - and there are less personal distractions to interfere with the convo. This should be done regularly, no matter how well things are going or otherwise.
3. Look at the longevity you have already accomplished together. I can tell you the passion does abate a bit - over time - and one can augment the sex play by instituting role playing, getting together once in a while in a different setting (I like the Emperor and the Slave Girl in an outdoor but private setting meself).
4. It's not really a good idea for anyone to think of relationship dynamics as an absolute; i.e., 'She's the one and only one for me'. That leads to putting all one's emotional eggs in one basket so to speak. Not saying stray, but just realize all things are finite and regarding human relationships - fluctuate all the time. The intensity of feeling is never a constant - it ebbs and flows - which is pretty normal.
5. The tighter one holds onto something, wishing it to be stasis forever, the less grip one really has on it, and the better chance it has to slip away.
6. At this point in time, just from reading your posts about this, I'm guessing your love is more intense than hers; enabling her to control the relationship. As one poster jokingly said above, just take things a bit lighter, and appreciate ALL the good things you have in your life, not just her.
Best of luck.
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