Off The Reservation

You sound like a Stage 5 Clinger, man. Rein that crap in.

Solid advice there from equa.

I'll think on this and chime in later. One bit of advice, make this a VIP thread. Otherwise, those tBB folks will find out and you'll be doomed anyway.

Certainly I'm no expert, but have been through this once personally (had to eventually walk away from an alcohol abuser), and vicariously through friends a number of times. A couple of things I learned and/or found out along the way.

1. You MUST talk this through. Holding back only leads to misunderstanding of the other party's mind-set and a high level of anxiety - a sure killer in yours.
2. It is a good idea to talk things over at a NEUTRAL site, so no one party has an advantage - and there are less personal distractions to interfere with the convo. This should be done regularly, no matter how well things are going or otherwise.
3. Look at the longevity you have already accomplished together. I can tell you the passion does abate a bit - over time - and one can augment the sex play by instituting role playing, getting together once in a while in a different setting (I like the Emperor and the Slave Girl in an outdoor but private setting meself).
4. It's not really a good idea for anyone to think of relationship dynamics as an absolute; i.e., 'She's the one and only one for me'. That leads to putting all one's emotional eggs in one basket so to speak. Not saying stray, but just realize all things are finite and regarding human relationships - fluctuate all the time. The intensity of feeling is never a constant - it ebbs and flows - which is pretty normal.
5. The tighter one holds onto something, wishing it to be stasis forever, the less grip one really has on it, and the better chance it has to slip away.
6. At this point in time, just from reading your posts about this, I'm guessing your love is more intense than hers; enabling her to control the relationship. As one poster jokingly said above, just take things a bit lighter, and appreciate ALL the good things you have in your life, not just her.

Best of luck.